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Monday Cleaning Tip: Dusting.

I love & use this duster as its handle is xtendable & the dusting arm is movable.

Coles regular price: $12.

The dusters are disposable.

I have found a cheaper, but just as good duster at Bunnings. Glitz 5 pk.

Did You Know?

Many people do not dust their door frames, tops of doors or ceiling fan blades.

These retain dust which leads to health issues.

Regular dusting of all areas of a home, helps reduce the health risks.

I even dust Laundries, Bathrooms, Lavatories.

You can dust inside your car, boat, caravan, anywhere dust settles.

Added Tip:

Wiping down these surfaces with an anti bacterial cloth, provides added protection.

Coles brand 100 pk does an amazing job.

To remove cobwebs or dust high areas, use a long handled broom. Please ensure someone is there for safety.

I also suggest wearing PPE

Personal

Protective

Equipment.

Safety First Always.

Hope this has helped you all.

Tomorrow: Saving Water When Moping.

Featured

Cancer Sux.

Wilma Fay Jensen 18/09/1939- 30/07/1991.

As I write this, I’m crying thinking about my mum.

30 years ago today, I lost her to Bowel Cancer.

Because of my sister, I feel mum died earlier than she should have.

During mums time in hospital, in Sydney, I was unable to visit.

As my parents owned a Mixed Business in North West NSW.

When mum was released, she spent much of her time in our upstairs flat.

It was hard watching her go through this as she had previously been an active person.

I had no one to support me.

As I was male, was not allowed to show my emotions, and bottled them up.

My last conversation with mum was hours before she died.

Driving back, I had to stop and let loose my emotions, because I knew it was the last time I would see her alive.

Dad never knew, I’m aware.

My grandmother paid for the funeral, as such, mum is buried near her father.

Please, if anyone has any symptons, get checked out immediately.

Life is too short to allow these awful diseases to take control of us.

Getting checked out early and having regular tests, hopefully can prolong your life.

Pic is last taken with all 3 of us, at my 21st, in 1986, yes that is my ugle mug in the middle

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/946465

Life Support Part 10 Conclusion.

I would like to say THANK YOU for reading these parts.

Anyone who is put in the unfortunate position of deciding a loved one’s fate, You Have My Sympathies and if you ever need a shoulder, please contact me. I would not wish it on anyone, no matter who they are.

Sorry, most of this has been boring, but again:

THANK YOU.

Life Support Part 9 Funeral.

Tuesday October 5th, 2010:

We all woke up early, had breakfast then our showers. We left their place just before 7.30am. As schools were going back that day, it meant the roads may be busier, they were, but we arrived at the cemetery just on 8.30am. I located the chapel and went to check. It was closed, but the celebrant had arrived.

I introduced her to my friends. I saw other family starting to arrive, I went to acknowledge them, and was given sympathy of course, got asked questions about what happened, which I answered.

Suddenly, my aunt nudged me and pointed. I looked to see my blister and it’s family arriving. I did the right thing but got the cold shoulder.

I walked back to where my friends were.

I was met with the celebrant asking me to join her. I grabbed my friend too as I had a feeling.

I was right, we were given a private moment alone with dad. He had been cleaned up and looked amazing, but I still didn’t feel an open casket was wise.

I broke down uncontrollably, shaking and dry reaching too.

Lucky, the celebrant had a feeling and had made me a coffee, which calmed me down, then I sat down for a few minutes.

Once I had calmed down, we went to open the doors and greet the mourners, who signed the attendance book.

Most shook my hand or kissed me, others like my blister and her tribe, ignored me.

Once everyone was seated, the celebrant and I walked to the front, I grabbed my aunt as we did as I felt she deserved to sit at the front.

The celebrant began. Both my aunt and friend sat either side of me, squeezing my hands.

When it was time for the Eulogy, the celebrant called me up to give it, which I did and read it out.

I was infuriated though as I saw, in the back row, my blister, husband, 3 children and my cousin, my aunt’s son, all looking down and playing on their mobile phones.

Several mourners could see my disgust and looked over.

Once I’d finished, I was held at the podium for the rest of the service. Once finished, the celebrant and I turned around to watch dad’s coffin glide slowly behind the curtains.

This caused my legs to turn to jelly and I collapsed. Thankfully, my friend and aunt came to my rescue and held onto me until the coffin has disappeared.

We walked to the back and thanked the mourners as they all left.

Once everyone had left, we headed to our cars and drove to the club.

I was astounded when my blister said, “FYI, I was born in 1967, not 68 and when are you putting an ad in the paper so I can get paid for today?”

This prompted me to tell her and her brood to fuck off, especially as they couldn’t respect me whilst I was giving the Eulogy. They left, but not before causing a scene.

I walked away to calm down, because I thought she was there to support me, as we are blood.

Once they left, the rest of the day went better.

I got to chat with many relatives, which was great.

Around 1pm, people started leaving.

2pm, everyone had left, except my friends and I, we got back into their car and headed back to their place.

I had a shower and changed, then packed my stuff, said my goodbyes to and thanking them and I left.

I was dreading this, as I felt my emotions may start to take over. I was right. Thankfully, I was near a freeway rest area, and pulled in.

As I arrived, the water works started, but after a short time, I recovered and went to have something to eat, which helped.

The rest of the drive home was uneventful.

Upon arrival, the manager came out to hand me all my mail, and there was a lot of it. I thanked him and went to my room to read it all.

I returned the car the following day and saw my new manager to request an extra couple of days off, which was granted.

I was constantly beating myself up about “Murdering” my father, yes, I considered what I did, as Murder.

Christmas 2010, I was at my friends place, housesitting as per usual, when my phone pinged. I didn’t know the number.

I checked the message; it was a generic message from my blister.

I immediately called my friend to tell her, even she was shocked and upset as it was not personalised.

I answered back, to date: No Response.

Life Support Part 8

The next day I had breakfast, which was unusual. Afterwards, I went to have a good shower, came back got dressed, then packed my bag. I went to the office to grab names for Tuesday, then headed to the car.

The drive to my friends was sombre, as I honestly felt I was dreaming, because I still didn’t believe dad was gone.

I had to pull over somewhere safe to cry, and woman did I cry.

Afterwards I felt slightly better.

I continued on.

Upon arrival, they all hugged me and asked how I was. I answered truthfully, Awful.

I decided to shout us dinner that night, it was only my friends husband and son, as my friend had to work.

Of course, I didn’t need to ask where we were going as I knew the answer. Between you and me, I preferred another fast food joint, but went with the majority.

Once we had our food, we headed back to their place to eat and watch movies. I cheered up.

The other 2 went to bed around 10pm, I stayed up to wait for my friend.

She arrived back just after midnight. We chatted for a while, then she went to bed too. I settled on the lounge and soon fell asleep.

The next day, we decided to work on the Eulogy. Easier said than done. Even though they knew dad well, we all had trouble finding the right words, but I asked if I could have an hour on the computer. Gave them $100 to go and buy some food for us.

Whilst they were gone, I started writing and was surprised by how much I wrote.

The family arrived back just over an hour later, with food. It was decided we would have a barbecue for lunch. My friend and I started preparing the food, then her husband started cooking, whilst she read what I had written.

She loved most of it but made some changes. it looked great.

We all ate and sat to talk about Tuesday but decided to have a Funeral free day tomorrow.

We decided to go to the Blue Mountains, especially as it was a short drive.

I insisted I drive my rental and pay for any drinks and food we have, as my way of repaying them. They agreed.

Rest of the day was relaxing, watching DVDs. Dinner was leftovers from the barbecue. We all had our showers.

N.B. This couple always had 2 showers each daily and washed their hair too, I was required to do the same thing, despite my protests. I preferred 1 shower or bath daily and washing my hair every couple of days, but when I was there with them, had to abide by what they wanted.

We all had an early night as we wanted to be gone by 7am.

The day went great and I hardly thought about dad.

Life-Support Part 7

I was woken up by a ding from my phone.

Dad’s Funeral Insurance money had been deposited.

I told my friend.

We had breakfast, then at 9am, I called the Funeral Home to advise about the funds, I paid over the phone, and was asked questions about where I wanted the funeral, etc.

I received a call back a few hours later about the funeral, and the celebrant would be in contact about the order of service.

My friend and I then set about trying to find the music for the funeral.

I wanted mum and dad’s song and a couple of others; I knew he would love, which we found.

My friend’s husband advised they would be heading home the following day.

I caught the bus a train/s home. I notified the office requesting exclusive use of the TV room for around an hour, which was granted.

The questions all started about dad and why I never allowed anyone to visit. I copped abuse because of that decision. I wasn’t given the chance to respond either.

I drew up an invitation list, for residents and staff. I advised my reasons why.

Friday, the celebrant arrived, the Owner asked if we wanted a coffee, we both did and said thank you.

We got to and started planning the funeral, which was great.

The only thing I wasn’t happy about: She wanted me to get up and give the Eulogy, but I decided to for dad’s sake.

I’d arranged to spend the weekend with my friend and her family, then we would all travel to the cemetery together on Tuesday. Monday was a Public Holiday.

I decided to rent a car, and after the celebrant left, I headed to the city to pick it up.

I drove home for dinner, then a bath and early night.

Life Support Part 6.

Whilst dad was in hospital, I had been making enquires about dad’s Funeral Insurance, something I had enticed him to do several years earlier. had he not done that, I would still be paying off the funeral. I highly recommend everyone 18+ having a Funeral Insurance Policy and your beneficiary knowing, in writing, what your wishes are. I’ve done that.

Anyway.

I had already organised the forms just in case I decided to turn dad’s life support off.

The morning of dad’s death, I headed home to shower and pack my bag as I was heading to mu friend’s place for a few days.

However, before that, I needed to complete the insurance claim forms and obtain an interim Death certificate.

Once I had those and I’d checked them over to make sure they were completed, I headed to the local Post office to have them faxed to the Insurance Company.

Once that was done, I headed to my friends place. As I arrived at the station, I received a confirmation call from the Insurance company.

My friend soon arrived, I got in and we went to her place.

I had researched Funeral Homes and settled on one which did everything over the phone. Yes, the cost was much lower, but I didn’t feel the need for an over the top occasion, which I know dad would have strongly despised.

This part still hurts me:

She insisted I notify my family about dad. Honestly, after everything from the past, they didn’t deserve to know, especially my dumb arse blister.

But I called the only number I knew, passed on a message.

Around 30 minutes later, my aunt, dad’s younger sister, called back.

I advised about dad. She insisted on letting my blister know. I was apprehensive but accepted the decision.

The rest of the day, was spent relaxing.

The following day, we got up early, showered then went to look at suits for the Funeral.

We found several, which I tried on, along with shirts and shoes.

We settled on a nice one, paid then went to have some lunch.

Rest of the day was planning the funeral.

I was still not happy about my blister possibly attending.

We both had an early night.

Life Support Part 5

However, early Monday morning, September 27th, 2010, I received a call saying he was slipping fast.

I immediately got dressed and rushed to the hospital.

Upon arrival, I was ushered into where dad was lying, he was still alive, but I suddenly decided to turn his Life Support off.

Of course, there were numerous forms to fill in before that could happen.

Once they were completed, and I had drunk several cups of coffee, we walked to where dad was. I was left alone to say my Good Byes to him.

I said, “Dad, it’s ok for you to go and join mum, I know she is excitedly waiting for you, don’t worry about me, I know you will all be looking over me, I Love You, you pain in the fucking arse.”

I kissed him, then let the Doctor and Nurse back in. I was able to turn the system off, but in my own time.

I think it took around 15 more minutes, but I did.

Unlike in the movies and TV shows, he did not pass away quickly, it took another 15-20 minutes before he stopped breathing. I feel it was the machine.

I got scared as his eyes suddenly opened, I felt he was still there and would be ok.

The Doctor told me it does happen, it’s just a reflex action.

Finally at 6.15 am, Monday, September 27th, 2010, dad was declared deceased.

Life Support Part 4.

Once home, I let the office know about dad and requested privacy from everyone if possible. They agreed and a sign went up to reflect that.

I went to my room, grabbed my towel and toiletries, then went to have a shower.

I came back to relax, but text my best friend about what was happening, I didn’t go into details, instead requested we meet up the following day, she agreed.

I did go outside to briefly explain about dad being in a coma but stopped short of revealing my big decision. I told them just enough to keep them off my back.

I went for a walk to get some lunch, but also get fresh air and this may sound strange but talk to mum and see what she felt.

I felt her presence but couldn’t feel her decision. I understand why.

This didn’t help my decision any easier.

I then took a slow walk back home and went to have dinner. I was allowed to take my tray and food to my room to eat.

Afterwards, I went to have a bath, then an early night.

The following morning, I woke early, had a shower, then dressed, grabbed my keys, wallet and phone and walked to the station.

I travelled to see my friend, and of course, being cheap Tuesday, we decided to watch a movie. What movie we saw, I forget, as I was thinking about dad.

Once it was over, we went to buy a cup of tea each then sit and chat. I went into full details and of course, broke down crying.

My friend consoled me saying, “Look, I know he is a pain in the rear end, and you would prefer he stays alive, but if he does, you will need to stop working, can you put up with being there for him full time again as his carer?”

I hadn’t thought about that and decided to go to see the person I used to deal with when I was on the Carers Pension, just to get some information.

As I was known there, I still had to wait, but this person knew it was important and would attend to me quickly.

I asked her advice, and was told I might be eligible, but she asked if it was worth it, especially given his age. He was 74 at the time. I agreed, and thanked her, then left.

I called my friend to tell her. I was still undecided.

Yes, I was being selfish at the time, because he was a pain, but he was my father.

N.B. At the time, I had forgotten about certain things from my early years.

The next few days, I spent at the hospital with dad. Even that couldn’t help me.

I decided to spend the weekend alone to try and make a final decision.

My friend’s husband and son had planned to go visit his mother for a few days. She lived in the same town I was living when mum died. I had been invited to come stay with my friend for company. She had to work. I accepted.

I decided not to turn his life support off.

Life Support Part 3.

I headed back to the restaurant precinct near the hospital. I ordered some take away and waited.

Once I had the food, walked to the railway station and ate whilst waiting for the train.

As it was a Sunday, trains were every 30 minutes, and I had just missed one, which gave me the chance to eat.

The train arrive spot on time. I knew the guard and was able to travel with her. I broke down almost immediately. She comforted me.

Once we arrived at my station, I bade my farewells and alighted.

I slowly walked home.

I knew deep down, dad was not coming home this time.

Once home, I went straight to bed, but plugged in my phone first.

Suddenly my phone rang. I answered it. It was the surgeon giving bad news, but asked me to get to the hospital asap. She advised me as to where he was now.

I got up and quickly showered, dressed and ran up to the bus stop. It was around 2am.

A bus arrived not long after. I boarded. Thankfully this time of the day, it was more an express bus. Once we approached my stop I pressed the button.

Alighted and ran to the hospital and the Emergency Department. I advised who I was and where I was needed. The Receptionist made a call and after a few minutes I was escorted to where dad was.

I was thankful for the escort as I got lost.

As we arrived, a Nurse was there and she showed me to where dad was lying.

N.B. From hereon in, this may disturb some people, I advise no one under 18 read on. I’m crying and haven’t started yet.

Dad was hooked up to many leads and machines and asleep. I immediately knew the worst.

The Nurse asked if I would like a coffee. I nodded, then she left.

The surgeon soon arrived and we started chatting, but she insisted we chat in a quiet room.

We walked there, and as we arrived; I saw my surname written on the whiteboard. I was told this is my room to sit and reflect, but each time rooms may change.

The Nurse brought my coffee in and left.

The surgeon then proceeded to tell me what happened.

She said, “Ok, your father’s surgery went well, however, just as we were closing him up, he went into a Cardia Arrest (Had a Heart Attack), he was pronounced dead for a short time, but we revived him. Once he was stabilised, I placed him in an induced coma.”

I said, “Ok, great that knot has been fixed, I’ve been at him for a while, what are his chances?”

She said, “Yes. Honestly, not good, can you tell me about your mum, please?”

I responded, yes, and did that.

Once I’d finished, she then dropped the bombshell.

She said, “Ok, In my opinion, I feel your father’s life support should be turned off so he can join your mother, it is the most humane thing to do, what do you think?”

I took a gulp of the steaming hot coffee, then said, “I need to think about this, whilst I agree, I’m pro life, I’m really not sure it’s the best thing for him. How long do I have before a decision needs to be made?”

She said, “Ok, yes, I know it’s hard, you take all the time you need, but the sooner the better, it’s almost 4am, would you like to stay in here and nap a little, I’m going off shift at 7am, I’ll come back with some breakfast for you just before then, ok.”

I said, “Thanks, that would be great.”

She went and got me a blanket and brought it back, then I lay down to try and sleep.

Sleep did not come easy, as I now had a very difficult decision to make.

Honestly I considered pulling the plug right then, but I needed to be 10000000% sure I was doing the right thing, not for me, but dad.

I did fall asleep, but briefly.

I was woken by a gentle knock at the door, then it opened. It was the same nurse from earlier, bringing my breakfast in. I thanked her and she left.

A short time later there was another gentle knock, I allowed entry, it was the surgeon to ask how I was. I advised about my lack of sleep, but need a few days to decide.

I advised about my previous instructions with dad for visitors.

As dad was in an ICU: Intensive Care Unit, visitors were limited and as I was NOK, I had the final say over who visited, and all I wanted was me.

She soon left me alone to finish my breakfast, which for a Public Hospital, was rather delicious and filling.

Once I’d finished, I relaxed a bit, but then got up and went to place the tray where it belonged.

I met the day staff and advised I would come back in a couple of days’ time.

I thanked everyone and left. I walked to the station to catch the train home.

Life Support Part 2

Once the new crew was on board, we headed to the hospital.

Upon arrival, dad was taken straight to a cubicle and with help, we got him changed.

I knew the Medical staff, and where the kitchen was. I went to make a coffee and wait until the Doctors had finished examining dad.

I was given the news: He was being admitted for observation.

I agreed as he needed this stomach issue dealt with and hoped he would finally undergo surgery.

Around 7am the following morning, I left and headed home for some much needed sleep.

I had left my contact details with the staff, with instructions:

I was the only one authorised to visit dad.

Upon arrival home, I was bombarded with questions. I advised everyone of dad being admitted to hospital. Of course, they all wanted to visit him, but I advised against it, saying, He is under observation, once he feels better, I may change my mind. I never revealed the visitation restrictions.

I finally got to my room and collapsed on my bed, crying heavily, which put me to sleep.

I never knew a thing until late the following day when I woke up.

There were many notes and cards placed under the door, some nice, others disgusting, which got me angry and upset.

I put my phone on charge, which had gone flat.

I grabbed my towel and toiletries then went to have a long, hot, relaxing bath and cry again.

My phone had charged up enough for me to check messages and calls. I only had messages from my best friend. I messaged her to advise about dad and why I had not replied. She was at work, so I knew she would not reply for a while.

Once finished, I decided to go for a walk. I was starving.

However, I on the way, my phone rang.

it was a private number, and I knew it was the hospital with bad news.

I answered, and it was a Doctor informing me dad needed to go to surgery asap. They needed my permission to operate. I asked why it wasn’t dad, she informed me he was unconscious again, and as I was NOK, it was up to me.

I informed her, I was on my way. Got her name and dad’s new location.

Once I hung up, walked to the bus stop, just as a bus was arriving. I boarded, validated my pass, then went to sit down.

Once we arrived at the nearest stop, I alighted and walked to the hospital and up to where the Doctor had advised me to go.

Upon arrival, she showed me into a quiet room and advised about the surgery, but also why dad needed it.

I’d already agreed he did. I signed the forms and was shown to the kitchen to make a coffee and have something to eat, as I had not eaten in 2 days.

The surgery was estimated to last around 2-6 hours, but dad would be out cold for a further 2 days to allow his body to recover.

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